Never in my wildest imagination did I EVER think I would be in the trenches so deep, for so long – 6 years, and no idea when the breakthrough is breaking through. A trial that I know is a Joseph pit situation. You see this has been a test of endurance, I will run the race, and win (Hebrews 12:1). It’s been a faith building, life transforming – trusting in Jesus as he works out this testimony in my life situation. (Lamentations 3 is great summation!)
This began six years ago, ever so subtly, my kids were finishing high school, and in college….. finally (yes, I am one of the few mommies that was rejoicing to have a cleared up calendar voided of school and sports activities; not that I didn’t enjoy those days, it was just time to move ON. Act 3 completed; let’s move onto Act 4 of this theatrical event!), seeking after my hearts desire with full vigor, with all sustenance, to serve God’s mission for my life. I knew my calling was somehow intertwined with helping people, as I knew he was preparing me to encourage women and kids to live their fullest God given life. Something dear to my heart, after spending too much of my own life unsure, insecure and in lack, as a kid, with minimal “parental” support in validation and encouragement, his hand was on my life even back then. Living in an unchurched, cussing, impatient, overcrowded home, and expected to be mature beyond my age, I entered into adult life which dealt to me two still born, full term babies, my husband died in an accident, and SO much more drama-rama throughout this past six years! But yet it has been through the various trials in which I found the strength and freedom that Christ offers. And it’s time for me to pay it forward. As I grow in Christ, the challenges get more intense. (ah, we know that’s bound to happen don’t we?! James 1:2-3). It’s been most interesting to go through this valley. Alone. Rejected. But God – with me through it all. An interesting comment I heard just the other day from TD Jakes, that when we feel forsaken, everyone has left, it is then, that God allows this alone place, which seems so far from civilization, to almost a scary place of depression, forsook and secluded, but it is then we are molded and mended because it’s only me and God. That is exactly the place I have been visiting the past three years. God with me.
Trials come and they go, but hold on tight to Jesus, he is always with me, and holds me with his right hand – Those times when we go through a trial, test, difficult time, it seems nearly impossible to think there will be a day that will shine and I can move forward with the confidence I know that is within me. This “opportunity” has allowed me to even the more realize how His love never changes; he is faithful even when life is uncertain! And the blessings will overcome me when I’m out of the pit!
As my mind flutters like a butterfly, overwhelmed at times with the “what Lord”, why Lord, where, when, and who”, I know I can settle on the Masters shoulder and I can walk with him and he will give me peace.
Last week the Holy Spirit gave me a word picture analogy. Our trials are nothing more than scabs (don’t know about you, but I find those scabs annoying, just sayin!). But when we allow the ointment – that is Jesus – to heal us as we walk through the fiery furnaces in life, we become whole. He IS the ointment to heal our wounds, our hurts, and our heart That my friend is mercy. He oozes his ointment of anointing blood over us, in us and through us – if we allow him to do so.
I will testify of His GOODNESS, you see, his MERCY endures FOREVER and ever!
I will soar with wings of eagles (Is. 40:28-31). With these wings, I will float through this test – leaning on His everlasting arms, which carry me. Because on the other side of this life’s “struggle”, is a bouquet of bright, shining, beautiful flowers, that will be a sparkling banner that states: “Well done – good and faithful servant, you passed the test, as you stood on firm foundation, the Rock of your Salvation”!
Jesus is his name. And because of Him, I have already overcome, by the Blood of the Lamb, and the word of my testimony! (Rev. 12:11)
Did you read that? It’s already done. Though it seems I am STILL stuck in the pit, I have already OVERCOME! It is by HIS stripes, HIS blood, and the FAITH that I TAKE to speak to the mountain and tell it to be ye removed
I consider it all joy to have gone through this pit stop; it’s been a time of renewal, deepening my patience, (James 1:2-3), and yes, my endurance is stronger than it’s ever been. For he is not finished with me yet; He has big plans for me, as He does for you too my sweet friend.
It’s time to exhale…..
Oh Jesus, how I love you !!! You are my heart, soul and my salvation, I serve you with all my being, now and forevermore. Amen…..