As our Proverbs 31 group start a new chapter in a new book called
A Confident Heart, by Renee Swopes… http://assets.bakerpublishinggroup.com/misc/Revell/ConfidentHeart/
I knew this would be a stepping stone type of study. One to move mountains in my life personally, and I pray over the many who have joined in with us, hoping that they will loose the doubt, fear and issues from the past so as to move forward and complete the work God intends for each of us to finish.
So, in this journey of learning more of Him, and allowing my sweet Jesus to help me as I sit at this well that has been dry for some time. Too many days and nights over the past few (gulp) years, seemingly wasted time in an upside down life. Loss. Sadness. Aloneness. Worry. Doubt. Concern. Confusion. Questions. Why Lord? I love you and serve you with all my heart soul and mind, and have for as long as I can remember.
No answer. Seemingly more time went by, the Joseph pit sits. No movement. Well, movement, but backwards too often. Tired. More doubt and second-guessing my whole thought process, wondering why everything I try does not seem to work out.
looking back wondering where I may have missed the mark. Days turn into weeks, Weeks move ever so quickly into months. Years. No change. I need a miracle. Lord, do you hear me. Do you know my desperate cry for help?
Maybe I won’t try any more. Hands up surrendered.
No!!! Stop the madness! (As Kevin O’Leary would say). I stand on God’s Word – I am His child, He chose me – for such a time as this. Why?!?!? I am who He says I am. ……and it time for me to let Him fulfill what He has begun in me. So I say to myself:
I am alive with Christ (Ephesians 2:5).
I am free from the law of sin and death (Romans 8:2).
I am far from oppression, and fear does not come near me (Isaiah 54:14).
I am born of God, and the evil one does not touch me (1 John 5:18).
I have the peace of God that passes all understanding (Philippians 4:7).
I have the Greater One living in me; greater is He Who is in me than he who is in the world (1 John 4:4).
The Word says, And the LORD will make you the head and not the tail, and you shall only go up and not down, if you obey the commandments of the LORD your God, which I command you today, being careful to do them, (Deuteronomy 28:13), And, it says I can come freely to the throne of grace in Hebrews 4:16 So I WILL come boldly to the throne of my gracious God. There I will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most..
Tonight, as I was reading John chapter 4, http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+4&version=NIV
as well as our chapter assignments, I realize that God has been quietly showing me let go of expectations put on me by family, parents, others, as well what I put on myself. Somehow during the course of my lifetime, I have had it ingrained in my head that work and life should look a certain way – expectations I placed upon myself because it made sense.
Parts of me are afraid to let loose and just create what I so desire to create, to learn and let my passion of photography, art, design and writing flow. This would be breaking the mold. Like a chick bursting out the egg, being born again. I don’t even think it’s so much failure I am afraid of, But of success. When I think of success and me in the same sentence, something within me suddenly grips. Doubt grabs a hold like a magnet to a refrigerator.
God gave me certain gifts, and I enjoy creating and designing, but it has not brought in enough money to support myself, because I have not allowed myself to become that success story. I have be that mature adult and do what I am suppose to do. And because I am trying to make it happen that way, doors keep shutting. Life seems to be “stuck”. How do I get out and reinvent the wheel? – Oh, yeah, God! I put my trust in you who opens and shuts doors for me.
I am still working on why and where that came from, I have a good idea why, which I will save for another time to write about. Tonight I had an email that had an artist/photographer, who has such unique and gorgeous design to his work, it just enveloped my heart. I love seeing someone fulfill their destiny. His work was so refined and unique; I knew that is what he was suppose to do with his life. Exciting.
So, with each life experience, it has the opportunity to define who I am (encompassing me), I can let it confine me into limitations that are not from God, or I will let Him refine my life, stripping what is unnecessary, build up what He needs and has in store for me.
I am uniquely designed, wonderfully created, loved so preciously by my Daddy, Thank you Pappa, refiner’s fire creates within me a pure heart, a sound mind, strong and wise, and change, that brings to my life a sweet destiny designed for me, in which will build me up and never harm me. Because of who He is in me. His light will forever shine, because I live in Jesus. I am learning to let Him work it all out in me. Letting go of the grip that has entangled and tried to strangle my life and my being.
~ You can have the same, join me and pray,
Jesus, come and live in my life. I praise you because you are worthy of praise. You never fail me. You never forget me. You love me with a sweet everlasting love. I surrender my life to you – not just today, but every moment of every day. I want my heart tender to your direction and calling, I want ears to hear and eyes to see as you do Jesus. You have blessed my life, beyond measure, and I pray that I can show others your perfect love; use me for your glory Lord and direct each step so I fulfill what you have for me to do.
♥ Blessings and honor belong to you ♥ Love you, my sweet savior!
I have loved thee with an everlasting love: therefore with loving kindness have I drawn thee– JER. 31:3
Thou art worthy, O Lord, to receive glory and honor and power: for thou hast created all things, and for thy pleasure they are and were created. — Revelation 4:11
Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever.- -MATT. 6:13.
The Lord reigns, he is clothed with majesty: thy throne is established of old: thou art from everlasting. The Lord is . . . great in power. –If God be for us, who can be against us? –Our God whom we serve is able to deliver us, and he will deliver us.–My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.–Greater is he that is in you, than he that is in the world. … ~ Anonymous—Daily Light on the Daily Path